To paraphrase one of the wisest intellectuals of our time, Tiffany Gomas, the woman pushed beyond the mouth of this thing, beyond the fabric of this mortal world, before declaring what was so clear before the plane of captive listeners: WHAT (redacted) is not. Neither did Alabama coach Kalen DeBoer — not against AP top-25 teams on the road. it is not true. In fact, DeBoer is so fictional that she invites the dismissive skepticism of other ball-knowing folk, forcing the likes of Ms. Gomas’ went viral three years ago. But as we understand, at this moment in time, when the clocks are still right, the sun continues to rise in the east and the reasons for the understanding of life beyond our blue-colored earth are still to be found (or manifested themselves), we must contend with the more serious indications of the day of the field: Among the active FBS head coaches, he is the absolute best at winning in a hostile environment against the teams most trusted to us. And not very close. DeBoer included, only four head coaches with winning percentages higher than .500 in road games against top 25 opponents (with a minimum of five games). Ohio State coach Ryan Day is second with a 7-4 record against top-25 teams in real road games, Georgia coach Kirby Smart ranks third (8-6) and Oregon coach Dan Lanning ranks fourth (3-2). Notably, Notre Dame coach Marcus Freeman has a 4-4 record in top-25 true road games. And you, the savvy bunch, intuitively figured that among those coaches, all five reached the College Football Playoff, and all five reached the CFP semifinals. Four of them had their teams go to the national championship game (DeBoer, Day, Smart, Freeman), and two won it all (Day, Smart). Success against teams with huge home field advantages isn’t the kind of status that’s hidden, either. Like a good edition of the Resident Evil franchise, what it stands for is cleverly distorted. In fact, being terrible in this category is one of the main reasons Penn State canned James Franklin, whose Nittany Lions were 2-13 against AP top-25 opponents on the road and 0-10 against top-10 ones. DeBoer is Alabama’s favorite against Mississippi State on Saturday in Starkville. This is not only because he found a way to get the best out of his teams against some of the leading sports programs and from the friendly confines of Bryant-Denny Stadium. Also because — not unlike the Bulldogs with dynamic QB Kamario Taylor — Crimson Tide quarterback Keelon Russell can probably match just about anyone. Both quarterbacks are completing at least 69% of their passes, both have thrown just two interceptions each and both have thrown for at least 282 yards per game. The only way I could feel better about my home team is if DeBoer wears his sleeve, the black hoodie, in which he has a very high pay percentage while wearing what Missouri coach Eli Drinkwitz once called “The Black Day of Death.” do you see This is how we’ve all become Tiffany Gomas: Superstition becomes an assumption, and an assumption becomes a willful fact, because we can’t make a fallacy without a narrative, as we millennials say, Do. [clap] to do [clap] sense [clap]. Some things are just not true, and the demolition of opponents Kalen DeBoer preferred in their own backyards is not real – even if it is.
