Continuation of “What If” WOLF SERIES. IN THIS SERIES, I PLAY THE PARTS OF THE TIMBERWOLVES AND GET BACK IN TIME AND FIX SOME OF THE GRACE OF OUR FREE OFFENSE. AS TIMBERWOLVES ARE, THERE ARE MANY WICKED. THIS SERIES CONTINUES.
““What If” Wolves Volume 5: From No Playoff Success to Title Favors. This one blew me away.
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With the addition of LaMelo Ball to the Minnesota Timberwolves, my fandom went to another level. A plane I haven’t experienced since the spring of 2004. Let’s take a trip down old memory lane to document history where we managed to prevent the biggest heartbreak of my life – well, the biggest heartbreak since I dropped a couple skates on a CheapSkate trip in the early 90s.
The Timberwolves’ first season started in 1989. They were horrible and didn’t even make the playoffs in their first seven seasons. The Wolves’ best record in this stretch was 29-53. 29-53!
The first playoff appearance of this struggling franchise came at the end of the 1996-97 season. Kevin Garnett continues to lead the Wolves to seven first-round exits. It was painful. Then the magical season of 2003-04 happened.
2003-04 was the best season to be a Wolves fan. They finished the season as the best team in the Western Conference with a record of 58-24. KG was named NBA MVP in the fall. The roster got much better with the additions of defensive specials Trenton Hassell and Ervin Johnson, key bench guys in Fred Hoiberg and Michael Olowakandi, sharp shooter Wally Szczerbiak, rabid corner Latrell Sprewell (editor’s note: name your kids after him and they’ll become editors), and the motor that ran it all, point guard Sam Cassell.
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Best record, MVP, solid role players, and Flip Saunders doing some coaching magic on base night. Rolled out during the season and walked through the stages, this team was destined to inspire Larry O’Brien.
Then Sam Cassell decided to do a little dance in honor of Perdro Cerano and share with everyone that he had the biggest cajones in the NBA.
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It was rumored that Cassell had completed the “Blas Balls Dance” with a dislocated hip fracture. This “break” with a previous back injury, Sam would miss most of the Western Conference finals against the Los Angeles Lakers.
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Wolves won 4-2. The title of dreams is gone. The team would then fall apart, leading the Wolves to miss the next 13 straight games.
I was totally overwhelmed when the Wolves went to Brutal. But I can’t wait for Ant and Melo to lead us to a championship (even if they win it all this year!), so the “What if” Wolves right this wrong and take Cassell’s dancing shoes off.
Like the smallest town in Footloose, dancing is banned in this franchise.
Not today Mr. Bacon CBS via Getty Images
The Real Timberwolves acquired Sam Cassell along with center Ervin Johnson from the Milwaukee Bucks, Antonio Peeler and former “What If” Wolves tackle Joe Smith. Spree was asked by the Knicks for Terrell Brandon (who would never play ball again due to a developing knee) and Marc Jackson, who wanted to be traded to the Philadelphia 76ers. Trent Hassell was signed as a free agent after the bosses were used in the roster.
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This team was a monster. No one in this group could score. KG barked defensive orders, and everyone followed. Hassell lived up to his defensive defensive streak. Sprewell was flying around the hall, sneaking up on the Vellicans, who lead to the vicious vagabonds.
Offense, not sloches either. Cassell ran the show, KG sent a turnaround jumper with a turnaround jumper, and Fred Hoiberg came off the bench with a perfect jump shot.
They were top ten in both offense and defense ratings. Again, this team was a monster.
MINNEAPOLIS – FEBRUARY 3: Kevin Garnett #21, Sam Cassell #19 and Latrell Sprewell #8 Minnesota Timberwolves goof around the bench during a game against the Orlando Magic on February 3, 2004 at Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota. NOTICE TO USER: The user expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, the user agrees to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo By David Sherman/NBAE via Getty Images)
| NBAE via Getty Images
It was a fair season for this team despite a bunch of injuries to key players in Wally, Troy Hudson, and others. KG finished his MVP year with averages of 24.2 points, 13.9 rebounds, 5 assists, 1.5 steals, and 2.2 blocks. Cassell joined Garnett on the All-Star team. Hoiberg also received several Sixth Man of the Year votes.
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The previous Wolves team would have folded in the playoffs. But there was something different about this group. The Wolves made quick work of the Denver Nuggets, beating them in 5 games. Cassell (20.6 pts), Sprewell (19.8 pts), and Garnett (25.8 pts, 14.8 rebs, 7 asts) could not be stopped.
The Wolves eventually win the playoff series.
I can’t explain how it felt to finally get a playoff win. There is no excitement or joy, usually just a kind of relief.
The second round would turn into one of the greatest series in NBA history (don’t argue with me on this one). The Sacramento Kings were the fourth seed, but far better than their numbers suggested.
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The Kings finished with a 55-27 record. Many NBA pundits also thought they could win the whole thing with a roster full of stars, all-star defense, and an insanely solid bench. The series will be back and leading to a historic Game 7. Do yourself a favor and go watch this game now. KG had a career defining game with 32 points, 21 rebounds, 4 steals, and 5 blocks. KG will not be denied in this game. But in the second game of this series, the Wolves are making a playoff run.
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With just under 30 seconds left in Game 2, the score is 89-88, the Wolves are up one. Cassell drives down the baseline against tough defenseman Doug Christie, pulls to the open middle lane, and hits a pin.
The Wolves were up three with 24 seconds left. Sam Cassell is happy and proceeds to dance. Cassell scored 59 points in the first two games against the Kings. After the dance, he averaged just 13.2 points per game, with his lowest total of three coming in Game 5.
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Something is not right with Sam. That happened in real life. But we’re talking about “What If” revisionist wolves here. See how it would have gone down if I had been.
During the physical training to complete the trade between Cassell and Johnson, our medical staff found that Cassell was running a little low on testosterone. Now don’t ask me how I know, but increasing your Guy Fuel can have some side effects. Cassellus was already bald (like me), so don’t worry about hair loss, but injecting some potion will make your boys grow back (again, don’t ask me how I know this). While Cassell was undergoing fertility treatment to bring his testosterone back to normal, he experienced some decline.
Now, of course, Sam, the actual baseline jumper. But instead of trying to “jump the big balls” and maybe make a mistake, Sam simply gets the 5th lead of Ervin Johnson and maybe a chest bump from KG. No big shots, no. Simple fix.
MINNEAPOLIS – MAY 19: Kevin Garnett #21 of the Minnesota Timberwolves acknowledges the crowd after their Game Seven win against the Sacramento Kings in Game Seven of the Western Conference semifinals during the 2004 NBA Playoffs at the Target Center on May 19, 2004 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. NOTICE TO USER: The user expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by uploading and/or using this Photograph, the user agrees to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement: Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2004 NBAE (Photo by Melissa Majchrzak/NBAE via Getty Images) | NBAE via Getty Images
The players and coaches from this Timberwolves team are all convinced that they would beat the Lakers if Cassell wasn’t injured and I totally agree. The Wolves had the size to match up with Shaq in Johnson and Michael Olowokandi in three of the four seasons in the regular season (all wins by at least 10 points), and they could limit Kobe Hassell somewhat.
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On the other hand, there was no one on the team who could contain KG or Cassell. LA had Karl Malone and Gary Payton on the team, but both were shells of their former selves. When Cassell went down with an injury in real life, the Wolves were forced to play third-string PG Darrick Martin, or play Hoiberg out of position. Wolves also carried the ball to KG at times, which they certainly pulled off a bit. This was an absolute case scenario for the Wolves, but since we have Cassell’s juices, the “Big Balls Too Much” injury never occurred.
With Cassell taking the healthy pressure off KG, the “What If” Wolves would win in five games. Shaq would still have a great series against the Wolves, but the only blemish would be Lakers. Kobe Bryant will fight against the Wolves with Hassell and Sprewell all series long, plus I’m sure that his sexuality in Colorado will limit his effectiveness this season (Kobe 42 points against the Spurs, spending the whole day in court). This loss to the Timberwolves ended up being the real reason why the Lakers broke up the combo of Shaq and Kobe.
Destroyed the Lakers, to the NBA Finals against the Detroit Pistons.
The Bakers had a great defensive team (second-best in the NBA) led by Defensive Player of the Year winner Ben Wallace, but lacked real firepower on offense (18th).
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I don’t want to dwell too much on this matchup because I believe this streak was over in five games. Plus, Coach Flip agrees with me. The lack of offense from the Pistons wanted to highlight the Wolves’ defensive game plan. This Wolves team was just too good for either side. KG to win the Finals MVP, likely by scoring a triple-double, and the Wolves would win their first NBA Championship.
MINNEAPOLIS – MAY 3: Kevin Garnett #21 of the Minnesota Timberwolves poses for his MVP photo at Target Center on May 3, 2004 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, User agrees to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2004 NBAE (Photo by Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE via Getty Images) | NBAE via Getty Images
After winning the first Championship, free agents could see that the Wolves were no longer the dregs of the NBA and began to see Minnesota as a great destination. The Timberwolves won title after title. Sprewell would still leave in the offseason so he could “feed his family.” Cassell finishes his career with the Wolves and takes over as head coach when Flip retires. KG continues to dominate the league, completes his career in “Minny,” his jersey rises in the rafters, and his statue sits surrounded by Brad Miller from Game 7 of the Kings in the middle outside the center of the attack.
Hell, maybe another statue of him yelling at a teammate goes up in the practice facility. After all, the Wolves’ owner is new, so he can do whatever he wants, as long as no one dances.